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Among a variety of methods in teaching children and new-born babes in Christ the importance of loving and caring for one another here are four:

1. Repeat the instruction over and over;

2. Plead with them to heed the instruction;

3. Teach them it is a command of Jesus Christ; and

4. Set an example for them yourself

The Lord uses all these methods in His Word to teach us to love one another.

1. Repeat the instruction

A little boy was not behaving in the presence of visitors at home. His father said to him, "Sit on that chair." The boy paid no attention, and soon the father told him again to sit on the chair. Still no response. The father repeated the order over and over. Finally, to everyone's surprise after the tenth time the boy obeyed and climbed up on the chair. One of the company said to the father, "I am surprised at you, telling your son ten times to sit on that chair." "Do you know why I told him ten times to sit on that chair?" "No, why?" "Because nine times was not enough."

Fifteen times, love one another

At least fifteen times in the New Testament we have these three words linked together—“love one another.” After our Father has spoken to us these fifteen times are we ready to obey? With envy, bitterness, hatred, evil speaking and strife among some Christians today it is evident some of us are not yet ready to obey this new commandment. Are we not worse than the little boy who was so slow in obeying his father? Is not the Lord even more patient with us than most of us are with our own children?

Other portions on love

Besides this expression, "love one another," great portions of the Word have love as their theme. Think of that wonderful chapter, 1 Corinthians 13. Note the exalted place of love in that last verse. "But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." The first epistle of John is full of exhortations on love. "For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another" (1 John 3:11). This tells us that one of the first lessons the early Christians were taught was to “love one another.” Also, we learn from this that it was something continually brought to their attention. In His Word, over and over, the Lord reminds us that we should love one another.

From the beginning

2 John 5 tells us these same things. "And now I plead with you, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment to you, but that which we have had from the beginning: that we love one another." Here again he says that this was a message they had know about from the beginning, that is, from the moment they had become acquainted with the Lord Jesus. It was a new commandment in that Christ had inaugurated it, but it was old in that the Christians had been taught it constantly, ever since Christ. Would it not be wonderful if the first lesson every Christian had been taught was to love one another? What heartaches could be avoided, what troubles escaped.

2. The pleading method

The Lord often uses the pleading method in instructing^- His children. The epistles of Paul are full of this. Because of his apostolic authority, he might have demanded from his readers, but he seldom did. He says in Philemon 8 and 9, "Therefore, though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you." Paul was always tender and appealing in his methods. Often this method prevails where the demanding method would fail. We should never use harsh words as long as tender ones will work. In 2 John 5, we find John using the pleading method in connection with loving one another. He says, "I plead with you, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment to you, but that which we have had from the beginning: that we love one another." Paul uses it for the same purpose in 1 Thessalonians 4:10, where he says, "But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more"—love one another. Even as one pleads with children to do that which is desired of them, so the Lord pleads with us.

3. Commanded to love

The third method useable in getting children to do what one desires is teaching them Jesus Christ commands it. Tell them to do it, then plead with them to do it, and if these methods fail, point out that Christ demands their obedience. And the Lord does. In five verses, He plainly says that to love one another is one of His commandments. One verse, which we have already considered, is 2 John 5. There the apostle uses the pleading method, yet he also plainly states that to love one another is a commandment of the Lord. The others are John 13:34, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another." Then John 15:12 says, "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:17: "These things I command you, that you love one another." Also, 1 John 3:23: "And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as He gave us commandment."

A Commandment

We are in the day of grace; we are not under law (Rom. 6:14, 15). Yet, in this day of grace, five times over "love one another" is spoken of as a commandment. Certainly the Lord desires to deeply impress this on our conscience. In the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) we have law, “you shall” and “you shall not”; for instance "You shall not steal" (Ex. 20:15). We have the same truth put in the form of an exhortation in Ephesians 4:28, "Let him who stole steal no longer." The New Testament nearly always puts things in this exhortation form, but when it comes to loving one another, we have it put in commandment form five times. Of nothing else do we read this. Certainly the Lord deems it important, yea, absolutely essential. May we, too, see that it is of great importance.

A new commandment

In John 13:34 the Lord says that when He was telling them to love one another, He was giving them a new commandment. In the Old Testament we read, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev. 19:18). This was never taken seriously by the Jews. They tried to sidestep its force by asking, like the lawyer in Luke 10:29, "Who is my neighbor?" Laws of revenge were so in vogue, and selfishness so prominent, that the law of loving one's neighbor was simply forgotten. When Christ brought it back again in a changed form, it was new to the people. He especially emphasizes it in connection with loving the Christians, and gives Himself as the example.

The eleventh commandment illustration

Samuel Rutherford was known for his lovely writings. He was a preacher years ago in the Church of Scotland. The king of England had decreed that the Scottish church must change its form of order to conform to the Church of England. Along with others, Rutherford refused to conform to the English church. So, several of them were imprisoned for a time because of it. In the meantime he apparently became bitter toward the Church of England and its leaders. Travel in those days was mostly on foot and one night a stranger knocked on Rutherford 's door and asked if he could stay overnight. He was invited in, and after meal-time Rutherford began to question the members of his family, as he often did, concerning Scriptural truths. He turned to the stranger and asked, "How many commandments are there?" The stranger answered, "Eleven." Rutherford replied, "I am surprised that in the whole of Scotland there should be one who does not know that there are only ten commandments." Quietly the stranger quoted John 13:34, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another." Rutherford immediately apologized for the way he had answered and conceded that the stranger was correct. It turned out the stranger was an Irish preacher named Usher. History tells us that this stranger changed Samuel Rutherford.

A commandment given by Christ

In John 13:34, our Lord Jesus says, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another." In John 15:12, He says, "This is My commandment, that you love one another." In John 15:17, He puts it in definite command form, "These things I command you, that you love one another." He not only commends it as pleasant and lovely, or counsels it as excellent and profitable, but three times commands that we love one another. Of nothing else does He so strongly speak. Next to actually being saved and loving the Lord Himself, this makes it the most important law of Christianity. Remember, Christ is our Lord and Ruler so He has a right to command us to do anything, and what He commands is for our own good. “Loving one another” is what Christ desires we be noted for above all else. Christians should outrank all others in this. How have we answered to this commandment given by our Savior?

Let us love in spite of differences

Controversy has on occasion caused bitterness and hatred among Christians; often similar to the Israelites of old, i.e., the only Christians we love are of the same brand as ourselves. It is well to contend earnestly for fundamental truth, but if we contend in a bad spirit, we only harm the cause we seek to promote. If back of it all there is manifestly no love for differing Christians then we dishonor the name of Christ, and we are not obeying His commandments, no matter how high our standing may be in the body of Christ. This is a hostile world and Christians are sometimes hated for Christ's sake. Let us be sure that we do not add to this by hating one another because of differences in opinion, or for any other reason. "He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now" (1 John 2:9).

The eternal commandment

It can be said that this commandment is the eternal commandment because love is one grace that will never pass away. While we will love one another through all eternity, we will no longer need this in commandment form, because then we will be completely rid of sin and we will be like Christ, and it will be only natural for us to love. "Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away" (1 Cor. 13:8). "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love" (1 Cor. 13:13).

4. He set an example in love

The fourth method the Lord uses to instruct us is that of example. In teaching children, other methods will have no lasting effect if we do not set an example. Instruction is completely wasted if we do not live the kind of life we want children to live. If we do wrong things, then all the talk in the world will not keep children from doing wrong. If we do not want children to lie or be deceitful, or smoke, or drink, or curse, let us see that these traits are not in us. If we want children to be lovely, then we must be lovely. Regarding loving one another, does God set us an example? He surely does. 1 John 4:10, 11 gives us an awesome example of love—God giving His only Son.

Mother could not give up one

The day her youngest daughter was born, a neighbor came in to see the mother and said, "Now you have eleven children and I have none." The Christian mother said, "I do feel sorry for you." Then the neighbor said,

You have not yet learned to love this new little girl. Why don't you give her to me? I will give her the best of care, and the best education. We will be able to do better for her than you with your large family. Besides, she will be right next door where you will be able to see her often and we will be so happy.

What do you suppose the Christian mother said? "You are right, take her away?" You know she did not. She said, "I am really sorry for you, but we have already learned to love this little girl, and we cannot give her up." The Christian mother would not give up one of eleven to make a neighbor happy, but the Lord gave up His only Son for rebellious sinners. He gave Him up, not to live in ease and comfort, but to die the death of a felon on the cross, so that He might be the Savior of sinners. What an example of love.

Christ’s example

Twice the Lord Jesus says, "That you love one another; as I have loved you" (John 13:34; 15:12). Here is the new standard of love, "as I have loved you," and what a lofty standard it is. He manifested great love to His disciples while here on earth. He spoke kindly to them, taught them, advised them, comforted them, prayed with them and for them. He concerned Himself as to their welfare; He defended them when they were evil spoken of or falsely accused. He professed to love them even more than His own mother, brothers, and sisters. He overlooked most of their failings, and when He found it necessary to correct them, He did it in tenderness and love. In the chapter where twice over He said, "love one another" (John 13:34, 35), He took the place of a slave and washed His disciples' feet. Should not His great love constrain us to love one another even to the point of self-sacrifice? May we, like Him, empty ourselves, humble ourselves, sacrifice ourselves, yea, forget ourselves, in order to be of help to others.

He gave Himself

The great example of the love of Christ was when He gave Himself to die on the cross for our sins. Many think of Him only as a martyr for His convictions, but He said, "Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I might take it again" (John 10:17). Out of love for His Father and us, in order that He might be the perfect sacrificial Lamb, so that His Father might be eternally righteous in saving us from our sins, He willingly went to that awful cross and had His life's blood spilt on Calvary 's hill. "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends" (John 15:13). Are we willing to let Him be our example even in this? "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren" (1 John 3:16).

Lay down our lives

In a sermon on 1 John 3:16, an old preacher of the Gospel said, "This verse says that we should be ready to lay down our lives for the brethren, but I fear that some Christians would not be ready to lay down a quarter." He later wrote that he thought he had made it too strong and expected to hear from someone about it afterward. Especially when a Bible teacher in the congregation approached with what he thought might be a berating, but instead the teacher said, "You know what you said about some Christians not being willing to lay down a quarter for one of his brethren? I am afraid same would not even lay down a nickel." We might not have to die for our brethren, but we certainly should be ready to live for them, and this too would be laying down our lives for them. The way of the world is everyone for himself, but for the Christian it should be everyone for each other.

Who are we to love?

We have already intimated that when the Lord tells us to love one another, He refers to loving the people of God. Although the admonition does not embrace the world, it does include every child of God—all who belong to Christ. The story is told of a woman of German descent who obeyed the Gospel. The congregation where she worshipped was made up mainly of Irish Christians, she began trying to get acquainted with other sisters. So one Sunday morning she invited an Irish sister to her home for lunch. She received a host of excuses. Like the one we read in Luke 14—the sister did not want to come. A few moments later another member, also from Ireland , invited this same sister to her home. She readily consented, adding, "You see, we have a lot in common." Shame on such a sister. As though nationality was a closer tie then being in Christ. In Galatians 3:28 we read "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

All nationalities

William Harrison wrote about once telling of this German sister in a Gospel meeting. After the meeting an Irish brother said, "But it does make a difference, brother." He was only jesting, but Harrison replied, "It is all right to love your Irish brethren, but do not forget, you must love all others, too—German, Arab, English, etc." And so it is. Let us see to it that we love all the people of God regardless of nationality, race, or even character. Let us seek to love even the unlovely, but especially the downtrodden and despised.